Celebrity

Meghan Markle revealed for what she really is — a Kardashian

After a fresh humiliation by booing crowds at the Queen’s jubilee, here comes another blow to the Duke and Duchess of Woke.

“Revenge,” the much-anticipated book by British investigative reporter Tom Bower, may not offer much new information, but it shines as a deep dive into their psyches.

The folie á deux on display here is worthy of a Highsmith novel: Two very broken people stoking each other’s rage, grievances and delusions of grandeur, believing in their unstoppable rise even as they fall ever downward.

What other modern-day couple would wear their expulsion from the British royal family so dementedly, like a badge of honor, while clinging to their royal titles?

The great question is how such privileged people got this way. Bower provides some answers.

Of Meghan’s early life, we learn that she was always a fabricator. Her childhood memories of the Rodney King riots: “I remember rushing back home … seeing ash fall from the sky and smelling the smoke and seeing it bellow out of buildings and seeing people run out of buildings carrying bags and looting.”

Well, maybe she saw that on the news. According to her estranged father, Thomas, he drove young Meghan to Palm Springs on Day One of the riots. Meghan, Thomas makes clear, wanted for nothing — except for her mother, who spent several years of Meghan’s life off doing her own thing, leaving Thomas the primary parent.

Meghan appeared alongside Harry at the United Nations in New York on July 16.
AFP via Getty Images
The ousted royal couple were met with fresh humiliation by booing crowds at the Platinum Jubilee in June.
The ousted royal couple were met with fresh humiliation by booing crowds at the Platinum Jubilee in June.
WireImage,

For those armchair psychologists wondering about the roots of Markle’s narcissistic injury, we have a working theory: Maternal rejection at a formative age.

Harry, of course, was traumatized by the death of his mother, his rage compounded by ranking as the royal spare.

“I’m not the important one,” he once said. Harry’s grief and anger manifested in substance abuse, depression, the destruction of fellow students’ property, and his poor treatment of girlfriends Chelsy Davy and Cressida Bonas.

Meghan also allegedly feuded with her sister-in-law, Kate Middleton, pictured above at Wimbledon this month.
Meghan also allegedly feuded with her sister-in-law, Kate Middleton, at Wimbledon this month.
Getty Images
Harry addressed a middling crowd at the United Nations last week.
Harry addressed a middling crowd at the United Nations last week.
Anadolu Agency via Getty Images

“He lacked class, was unromantic, unserious, short-tempered and imperious,” Bower writes. Both women found him “ungenerous”; Bower calls him “feckless towards women.”

Harry is also painted as quite dim, struggling — despite great help and leeway — with passing his classes at Eton, a D student at best.

Some critics have dubbed the couple the
Some critics have dubbed the couple “the Duke and Duchess of Woke.”
WireImage,

It makes all his unending pontificating, most recently to a thin crowd of stragglers at the UN, that much more insufferable.

As for Markle — whose motto, it can never be said enough, is “Be kind” — the higher she climbs, the worse she treats others. It’s like she has imposter syndrome: Lacking talent, charm, intelligence or class, her only way up through marriage, Meghan lashes out at the very people paid to make her life easier, better, happier.

Relish Bower’s detail from her early days, Markle dreaming of becoming “the face of L’Oreal,” saddled instead with spokesmodeling for a midlevel Canadian clothing chain, her frustration unleashed on the poor crew.

“Ignoring the flower displays, bottles of her favorite wine and a special calligraphy pen laid out on the tables, she criticized the hotel’s Tempur-Pedic bathrobe and slippers. She wanted Dior. The tea was the wrong blend and the vegan green juice was warm.”

The humanity!

Bower also dishes on that infamous row with Kate Middleton — you know, the one Meghan told Oprah she wouldn’t discuss except to say that Kate made her cry right before the wedding — but Meghan, being such a bigger person, had accepted Kate’s flowers and apology and simply couldn’t bear to demonize her sister-in-law. The Palace, so expert at playing the long game, has finally leaked their version to Bower. And surprise, surprise: They say it was Bridezilla Meghan who, as rumor long had it, called Kate’s toddler Charlotte lacking in the flower girl department, who made a hormonal, postpartum Kate cry, and who — upon Kate later showing up at Meghan’s door , flowers in hand, not offering an apology so much as a warning to stop treating Palace staff so terribly — took Kate’s flowers, threw them in the garbage and slammed the door in the future queen’s face.

Bower's hotly-anticipated book hit the shelves in the UK this week.
Tom Bower’s hotly-anticipated book hit the shelves in the UK this week.

Remember, everyone: Be kind!

There’s more great stuff: Meghan telling Harry her Vanity Fair cover was pegged to her TV show on basic cable, with absolutely nothing to do with their romance (cover line: “She’s Just Wild About Harry!”); Serena Williams telling Meghan’s profiler that despite Meghan’s claims, they were not close friends; Princess Diana’s sisters telling Harry that despite what he saw in her, no, Meghan was nothing at all like his mother; the longtime friends of both Harry and Meghan who learned, day of, that they were invited to the wedding but not the reception (unlike Oprah and the Clooneys, total strangers); the staffers who fled from Meghan’s employ in tears, even Prince William intervening and telling Harry that his wife’s behavior was “unacceptable”; Harry watching “The Crown” and blabbing to an acquaintance that his family and royal life in general is “much worse than that”; Harry and Meghan’s hissy fits at the Jubilee, desperately needing to provide Netflix with actual royal content yet getting kicked to the proverbial curb.

And Harry and Meghan still see themselves as the Obamas 2.0!

If anything, this book ratifies the world’s growing disregard for these two hypocrites, so divorced from reality that they surely believe their Netflix reality show — excuse me, docuseries — will elevate their brand rather than reveal it for the cynical, resentful, grasping entity it is truly.

Meghan is no humanitarian. She’s a Kardashian.

“I gave up my entire life for this family,” Meghan gripes toward the end of Bower’s book. “I was willing to do whatever it takes. But here we are.”

Well, for the moment. If there’s one thing Harry and Meghan do successfully, it’s continuing to sink lower than we ever thought they could.

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